


Even Your Enemies Have Problems

by SaraJaye



Series: The Totally Dorky Adventures Of Usagi And Zoisite's Friendship [1]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Coffee Shops, Friendship, Gen, Immature Teenage Angst, Not Canon Compliant, These Two Would've Made Such Cute Friends Dammit, Usagi Feels Sad, Venting Their Spleens, Zoisite Being A Brat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 05:44:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3108272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The pretty guardian for love and justice and the most immature of the four heavenly kings bump into each other in a cafe and vent to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even Your Enemies Have Problems

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PlushieLordLexi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlushieLordLexi/gifts), [Prismatic Bell (Nina_Dances_In_Technicolor)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nina_Dances_In_Technicolor/gifts).



> Random thing, not fully canon compliant but technically set in the Rainbow Crystals arc. I blame Nina and Lexi for this one.

"Zoisite! What are _you_ doing here?!"

"I could ask you the same thing, Sailor Moon. You're a little young to be drinking." The copper-haired man set his cup down, crossing his legs. Usagi gave him an are-you-serious look.

"Aren't you only a few years older than me? You don't look twenty."

"Sixteen, really. And this is coffee, a hazelnut blend with skimmed milk and just a dash of nutmeg," Zoisite murmured, taking a sip. "Mm...just what I needed."

"And this happens to be a hot cocoa," Usagi said, sticking her tongue out. "And you still haven't told me what you're doing here. If you're gonna attack the nice old lady who runs this place-"

"Honestly, can't a man take the night off for a cup of coffee without getting the third degree?" Zoisite sighed. "I simply didn't feel like being among my own kind tonight, and the one person I can stand is too busy to listen to me vent." Though he tried to hide it, Usagi noticed the sudden shift in his tone and set her mug down, concerned.

"You, too?"

"Huh?" He gave her a confused look, then coughed, turning away. "Not that I care about your silly Sailor Guardian problems."

"Well...I don't care about your stupid Dark Kingdom evil problems either! So there!"

They sat in silence, sipping their drinks, before Zoisite sighed heavily and turned back to her. His normally smug face had a trace of something odd to it...vulnerability?  _Not likely._

"Sailor Moon? Do you ever feel like almost no one respects you? Thinks you're just some dumb child who can't be counted on for anything?" Usagi nearly dropped her mug in surprise, setting it down before she could actually drop it and spill anything.

"Only all the time! Mars never gives me a break and the others are always sighing at me and Luna, ugh, don't get me started!" She heaved the most melodramatic sigh she could. "And that's just the tip of the iceberg, I could go on for days about Mom and Haruna-sensei."

"Mm." Zoisite nodded. "For me, it was always Jadeite sneering at me...then again, he was always sneering at everyone. Thought we were all fools, but in the end he was the worst failure the Dark Kingdom ever produced. And Nephrite, constantly butting in on my territory, taking my job!"

"And all the time everyone calls you stupid, clumsy, childish-"

"-temperamental, bratty, inexperienced-"

"-lazy, irresponsible-"

"-upstart, undisciplined-"

"-fat!"

"Well, I personally never have that problem." Zoisite ran a hand down his slender figure and smirked. "At least I have my beautiful looks. And the most amazing boyfriend."

"Hmph. Good for you." Usagi gave him a dirty look, not wanting to be reminded of her own love troubles. "But you get it, right?"

"The thing is, I know I'm better than all of them! Except Kunzite, of course. And technically our Queen. But everyone else is trash compared to me! I know I could run circles around them any day of the week!" Zoisite sighed. "But all it takes is one scolding from Kunzite and...well."

Usagi moved her chair closer. She'd never imagined bad guys could have actual problems. Not that she felt sorry enough to let him have their Rainbow Crystal or keep the ones he stole, but she felt sorry enough to pat his shoulder. Zoisite tensed, giving her a funny look.

"What...?"

"At least you have a boyfriend. And if you pout enough he might feel bad and make it up to you buy buying you something," she said. Zoisite chuckled a little.

"Well, I am running out of rose-scented body lotion. And I wouldn't mind new fuzzy socks for bed," he said. Usagi giggled.

"It's kind of a shame you're not on our side, you and I need to go shopping together!"

Zoisite relaxed, putting a hand over hers and giving the barest hint of a smile.

"I could say the same about you."

It was so weird, she'd started out feeling cranky and unloved and mad at everyone she cared about, and now she was venting to the enemy. Who had similar problems.

"What am I gonna do about the other Guardians, though? I just want them to accept me for who I am!" she groaned, unable to help a slight whine. Zoisite shrugged.

"I know my co-workers and monsters are all talking about me behind my back. I'd just kill them." Usagi blanched, reminded of just who she was dealing with.

"I can't do _that_!"

"Threaten them, then. You're the leader, right? Threaten their lives a little and they'll have no choice but to lick your boots," Zoisite said. "Frankly, kindness and compassion are a bit overrated in my book."

"I'm not going to hurt them! Even if they're being mean to me I still love them. I just wish they'd stop nagging me all the time." Zoisite shrugged again.

"You'll have to figure out your own way of shutting them up, then. I still think you're being too easy on them." Usagi rolled her eyes.

"And you're too violent," she said, then smiled. "Thanks for listening, though. You may be a big evil jerk, but deep down you're actually kind of sweet." Zoisite turned red and looked away quickly, taking a sip of his drink.

"Hmph. If we meet again, this conversation never happened. We're still enemies, Sailor Moon, and I will take back those Rainbow Crystals you and Tuxedo Mask stole from me," he said coldly. "Don't get the wrong idea. Just because we understand each other on some deeper level doesn't change what is."

"Well...obviously!" Usagi stuck her tongue out. "And you're not touching the Rainbow Crystals or getting your hands on any others! Got it?"

They sat in silence and finished their drinks, but before they left to go their separate ways for the night, Usagi couldn't help giving her enemy a quick hug.

"Thanks, Zoisite."

Zoisite, after a moment's pause, patted her head and quickly left without paying for his coffee. Usagi rolled her eyes, plunked down enough cash for both of their orders plus a tip, and began her long walk back home.

_We could be friends, Zoisite! You just have to admit that underneath you're not such a bad person._


End file.
